We first talked briefly and incidentally on a forum for a game we both played. Neither of us thought much of it at the time. Later we were both embarrassed at who we were then. I never said this, but I remembered you as being a particularly insightful poster, for what it’s worth :)
Years later we serendipitously encountered each other on a deadlocked round of ctf_doublecross. Our usernames were flame and candle; we made jokes about it. We managed to work together to cap the intel and added each other on steam. We chatted for years onward.
We didn’t run in the same circles but we always kept in touch. You got me into better tabletop RPG adventure building. You kindled my interest in weirder fantasy fiction. Man you wrote some very cool stuff. I still think about the salt-cave demon and the horrible human sacrifice eating bird. The little I got to play of your campaign was amazing, even if at the time I wasn’t as practiced with logistics heavy games. The moment Lys slew that terrible bird-thing and devoured it and CRITICALLY SUCCEEDED the roll to develop a horrifying gizzard-mutation, I was just brimming with joy.
Embracing the weird has since defined my creative output and interests. It lit sparks in me I didn’t know I had. I have you to thank for everything strange I have written, and the strangest things are those most dear to me.
I wish I had said more because we always wish we had said more. Since you left I’ve really been trying to. To tell those people who are still here how much I care. I just wish I knew better words when you were here. Words can’t cure sickness but god you were so deeply loved. You still are. It’s been years and I still get struck by the urge to message you. I still have to piece together why it always feels like there’s someone I forgot to tell about the latest thing going on. You deserved better than what the world gave you, friend.
I wish I could have run that campaign.
-cando
Here is some of his art I really like and still think about. I hope he wouldn't mind me sharing.
